Robes
by unwriteranonymous
Summary: Every time a Jedi fights, he/she throws off their robe. Have you ever thought about how many robes a Jedi needs every week? And where do the Jedi get their robes?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: My first Star Wars fic. I think it'll be about four chapters long, maybe five. Depends. Anyway, please read and review. I hope you enjoy this!_

* * *

The Jedi are guardians of peace and justice in the Galaxy. They are strong, fearless and kind. They dedicate their entire life to others. They are selfless, mysterious and compassionate. Everyone knows that.

However, there is one thing about the Jedi to which no one has given any thought. Nobody has mentioned it in any of the books about them, no one has studied it. In fact, no one even noticed it despite it being the first thing one sees when seeing a Jedi.

This is the robe.

Of course, people know that Jedi wear robes. It's obvious. The thing that people don't know isn't that Jedi wear robes, it's the story behind them.

Think about it: Every Jedi wears a robe. However, whenever a Jedi gets into a fight they drop their robe. 99% of the time the robe gets burned, ripped, torn apart, stomped on, stolen or simply forgotten. The Jedi never bother to pick the robe up again: mostly they are too busy chasing after the fleeing enemy, reporting back to the Temple on their progress, saving hostages, running away or hundreds of other scenarios. The result: a Jedi needs a new robe after every time he/she fights. And since Jedi fight quite a lot, the amount of new robes needed for the 10,000 Jedi spread across the Galaxy is astronomic.

The average Jedi uses up about 2 robes a week during peacetime, 6 during wars. Anakin Skywalker held the record for the largest amount of robes destroyed- about 7 a week during peacetime, 13 during wars (A war. Anakin only participated in one war, luckily for the Temple that provides Jedi with robes.) A Jedi named Kanim Selon who lived long before the Clone Wars was known for holding on to one robe for a record time, a month and two days. Despite having achieved nothing else, Jedi still remember his name merely because of this accomplishment.

So, where do the Jedi get their robes?

The answer is simple: the Robe Room. This is, in fact, the most visited room in the Temple, a fact that the Jedi try to hide (very successfully. Everyone always thinks that the most visited room is the Chamber of Meditation. Shows you what a good reputation can do). They spend more time there than they do in their own rooms, and definitely more time than in the Meditation Chamber (except for Anakin Skywalker who, despite desperately needing robes, was usually sent to the C.M instead to "calm his emotions"- a punishment that the Council invented especially for him after he had disobeyed their direct orders for the eighth time. Most of the Masters also thought that some meditation couldn't hurt and sent Anakin there every time he strayed from the Jedi Code however slightly. Anakin was, as you might have guessed, the most frequent visitor in the C.M).

The Robe Room is, to put it simply, a storage room. A very big storage room.

Imagine a school gym. Now, multiply it by a hundred. Add clothing racks, a wooden floor, dimly lit lights and row upon row of robes. Robes, robes and even more robes. And some more robes. Imagine that and you'll have a pretty good idea of what the Robe Room looks like.

The racks closest to the entrance are the standard robes- brown ones with wide sleeves. The sizes range from Munah (a race of people two and a half meters tall) to Yoda. These robes are all more or less the same. However, if you wish to find more interesting robes you must venture deeper into the room (beware. There are rumors that a Jedi once wandered in there, got lost and was never seen again. As far as we know there's a skeleton in there somewhere).

The robes you will find deep inside the room are unlike any others, and most of them exist in one copy. Ever seen a purple robe before? A camouflage one? A robe made for someone with five arms, one on the back? Some even say that deep inside there is the robe of Darth Plagueis himself, but no one has ever tried to find it (a wise decision seeing as the task would probably take years).

No one really knows where the robes come from. The older Jedi say that the Force makes them appear out of nowhere, the younger ones think that Yoda struck a deal with the Robemakers of Taj- Hin to deliver the robes secretly to the Temple and make it look as if the robes had appeared out of nowhere. It does not matter much- according to the first version the Force makes the robes appear, according to the second Yoda does, and since the words "Yoda" and "Force" are pretty much synonymous the versions are more or less the same. Whatever the case, the Robe Room has never run out of robes and, as long as the Jedi Order stands, never will.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I think every Jedi has a robe stash somewhere in their ship. I can see no other explanation as to how the Jedi keep getting new robes without having to return to the Temple every time._

 _Also, I have a question: should I reply to reviews? If so, how?_

 _Well, anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Please review; criticism is welcome._

* * *

Ahsoka Tano ran towards the ship at a speed approaching lightspeed. The reason for this was not because she was escaping from an enemy; it wasn't even because she was chasing after someone. No, the reason for Ahsoka's haste was just as important as all these, if not more: she was running towards her robe stash.

A few minutes before this Ahsoka's comlink had beeped and commander Rex had informed her that General Skywalker's robe had spontaneously combusted during the fighting, his own robe stash was gone (apparently, ten robes are not nearly enough for one mission) and he was now headed towards the ship to take a robe from Ashoka's own stash. Ashoka could not allow that to happen: she only had about five robes left, and she would need them all for their next mission- they would not have time to return to the Temple and restock on robes.

The temple on Coruscant was obviously not the only one in the whole galaxy, it was just the biggest one. There were plenty of smaller temples where any Jedi could restock on robes, but right now Ahsoka and Anakin were far in the Outer Rim, many light years away from any temples. They had to rely on the robes they took with them from the Temple.

Anakin's robe stash usually consisted of about ten robes, twenty if he wouldn't have time to return to the Temple before the next mission. However, Obi Wan had been telling him to decrease his robe use for quite some time (he claimed that after Anakin's visits to the Robe Room no Jedi his size could find a robe that fit), and Anakin had, for once, listened to his old Master. He took only ten robes for two missions, and now he (and Ahsoka) were suffering the consequences.

Ahsoka rushed up into the ship and to her room. She kept her robe stash hidden under the floor tiles (protection from robe thieves and Jedi fans), but any force- sensitive could easily find them. Ahsoka ran into her room to find that she was too late.

"Master!" she shouted. Anakin looked up from her robe stash. He didn't even look slightly guilty.

"Hey Ahsoka. Why are you shouting?"

"Master, those are my robes!"

"I know. By the way, this hiding place is terrible. Obi-Wan's robes were hidden waaaay better and the Jedi fans still found them. I still remember that day…"

"What happened?" Ahsoka asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. Her master rarely talked about his own time as a Padawan, and now that she got an opportunity to hear more about it she wasn't going to miss it, not even if it meant losing a robe.

"Well…"

* * *

 _Anakin's story will come in the next chapter._


	3. Chapter 3

(The story that Anakin told his Padawan Ashoka):

Anakin Skywalker was sitting in the Chamber of Meditation, attempting to meditate. It wasn't going well.

'I must not feel anger at Master Krell, I must not feel anger at Master Krell…'

Anakin was feeling anger at Master Krell. It wasn't without good reason- Master Krell had sent him there, to the Chamber of Meditation (or, as Anakin liked to call it, The Detention room) before he could grab a robe from the Robe Room. The Force knew he was in desperate need of one: his old one had burned away in a fight against a bunch of assassin droids and the ones he kept stashed away in case of an emergency had mysteriously disappeared- not, Anakin suspected, without the help of Obi Wan Kenobi, whose own robe stash had been stolen by idolizing Jedi Fans (yes. They exist. They worship Jedi and for some reason think that touching a Jedi's robes is the best thing a person could hope for in is life). Even worse, earlier that day all the Jedi from the entire galaxy had been called to the annual meeting, and Anakin had no doubt what the Jedi were going to do the second the meeting ended (which would be in about a minute). Yep, that's right, go to the robe room and restock on robes.

Anakin didn't even know why Master Krell had told him to go meditate. It wasn't as if he had done something terrible. He had simply been examining his lightsaber during the assembly- he thought he had seen a scratch. Okay, so maybe he wasn't listening to every word the Council had said, but he already knew what they had to say! He had heard it from Master Obi Wan earlier that day! Now he was going to come to the Robe Room after everyone had already chosen a robe and probably be stuck with the worst robe in the entire room. Typical.

'This meditation isn't going very well' Anakin thought to himself after ten minutes. 'This is pointless. If I wait here any longer I'll end up robeless. I think I'm done with meditation for today'. He knew that Master Krell wouldn't be very happy with his meditation, but then Master Krell didn't have to know. He needed that robe!

Anakin sprinted down the Temple hallways. Suddenly, he felt a disturbance in the Force. Something very bad was happening, and he knew it had something to do with the Robe Room. He ran even faster.

Anakin burst into the R.R, breathing heavily. Something told him it was too late, though too late for what he did not know. He looked around the room. The racks were still there, but they were… empty.

'No', Anakin thought. 'It can't be. It can't be'. The racks near the door remained empty, as if saying: 'you can protest all you want but there are no robes here. The Jedi took them all. That's what you get for being late'. 'That's what you get for listening to Master Krell', thought Anakin.

He walked around the racks, looking for any robe that the Jedi might have left behind. He found nothing. 'Great', Anakin thought. 'I'll get a weird robe from one of the far away racks. Just great.'

In reality, the situation was even graver than Anakin thought. The Jedi had been so desperate for robes that they had taken many from the far away racks as well. There were still loads of them left but the robes on the ones farthest away were so strange it was hopeless to even try and find something that would fit him. After half an hour of searching, Anakin emerged wearing the most suitable thing he could find. His expression was darker than that of a Sith lord who has just realized that his plans to take over the world have failed and he is now alone to face a team of two hundred Jedi.

He marched down the halls of the Temple. Luckily for him, no one was there to see him. If someone had been there and had seen Anakin dressed like this, he probably would have cut them into bits with his lightsaber without even pausing to think if that was against the Jedi Code.

Anakin arrived at his room safely, without anyone noticing him. He thought about leaving the robe there and walking around robeless, but there was a punishment for that, and Anakin was done with the Meditation Chamber for at least that week (okay, day). He opened the door quietly and walked in, relieved. He would think about what to do with the robe later.

"Anakin?"

It was Master Kenobi's voice. Anakin spun around. He had not noticed that Obi Wan was there.

"What are you- is that what I think it- Anakin, why are you wearing a bright pink robe?"

Oh no.

"It was the only one left Master! I really didn't have a choice- it was this one or a bright blue one with spikes covering the back and an extra sleeve."

"I see. Well, I think it suits you perfectly. Way better than the regular brown one."

"Master?"

"In fact, I like it so much I think you should show the younger Jedi that it's perfectly okay to wear differently colored robes. If someone as well-known as you shows up in a robe this color, why shouldn't they?"

"Master, what do you mean?"

"I am saying that tomorrow you will come to Yoda's class of younglings and give them a lesson on, say, sword fighting. I will make the necessary arrangements with Yoda. Oh, and don't forget the robe!"

'He's trying to get me back for the time I was late to that council meeting and he was forced to apologize for me before the entire council', realized Anakin.

"Master, please. I can't have a whole class of younglings see me like this. This robe is bright pink! Have you ever seen a Jedi in a robe this color? Besides, this isn't my fault. I just didn't have any other robes left. You took my robe stash!"

"Anakin, you know what those Jedi fans are like. I needed a robe fast. Besides, I understand if you're afraid of ruining the Jedi's reputation by wearing this robe outside of the Temple, but this is the Temple! No outsiders here! Are you afraid of ruining your own reputation?"

It was a trick question. Anakin couldn't answer yes without admitting his vanity, and if he said no then he would be forced to wear the robe in front of a whole class of younglings. It didn't really matter- Obi Wan was not letting him out of this one.

"Alright Master. I'll do it."

So it was that the next morning Anakin showed up in the Youngling class wearing a fuchsia colored robe. However, the results of this were far stranger than Anakin or Obi Wan could imagine.

Anakin was probably the Padawan the younglings most admired. Stories of his bravery and incredible achievements reached every Youngling's ears. Most of them, in secret, wanted to be just like Anakin- brave, heroic, reckless and sometimes defying orders. In fact, the admiration of the Younglings was such that the day after Anakin had spent the day teaching them about sword fighting in his pink robe, every youngling showed up in a robe the exact same color as Anakin's.

What a role model can do.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: This is the next chapter. I think it'll also be the last one- I think that if I continue any more the chapters will all become very much alike and kind of boring. After all, how much can a person write on the topic of robes?_

 _If you have any ideas for further chapters, please tell me. I'm kind of out of ideas, which is why I am stopping writing this fic, but if you have any ideas I'll be happy to hear them._

 _Also, to everyone who reviewed: Thank you so much guys. This means a lot to me._

* * *

The entrance to the Robe Room was unrestricted. The Jedi were trusted not to misuse their right to take any amount of robes and take only as much as they needed at the moment so as to leave enough for the rest of the Jedi. However, after an incident involving Anakin Skywalker, a robe stash large enough for twenty Jedi and Mace Windu forced to wear an orange robe, Yoda decided that enough was enough and that the Jedi (at least some of them) couldn't be trusted with free entrance to the Robe Room.

"Continue, this cannot", he said at the council meeting. "Forced to wear an orange robe, Master Windu was. Take all the robes, young Skywalker did."

Anakin was standing in the middle of the council's chambers with a guilty look on his face. So maybe he overdid it a little this time. Still, why was it that Anakin could be forced to wear a pink robe for a whole week and nobody cared and the second Master Windu got an orange one the council went crazy?

The truth was, no one had any idea what the council would choose to do about the robe problem. Even the members of the council had no idea what the council would decide. There were whispers that Yoda was planning to add some rules to the Jedi Code about the amount of robes a Jedi might have, but no one knew for sure. Most of the Jedi in secret hoped that nothing would be done and that the council would just hush the whole thing up. After all, there wasn't one of them who didn't take a few more robes than was necessary now and then (though none neared the amount of robes Anakin took).

"Decided, I have, what must be done. Post a guard, we will. A guard at the entrance of the Robe Room." continued Yoda. "See to it, he shall, that no more robes are taken then what is necessary. The Robe Guard, his title shall be."

'This just isn't fair', thought Anakin. 'I won't get enough robes and the council will punish me for walking around robeless. '

'This has never been done before in the history of the Jedi Order', thought Windu, 'But if it makes Anakin stop taking my robes then I agree completely.'

'Poor Anakin', thought Obi- Wan. 'Maybe Yoda will rethink this?'

'Rethink this, I will not." said Yoda.

'I hate it when he does that' thought Obi- Wan, this time taking care to shield his thoughts.

"Then shield your thoughts better, you should".

'Blast it' Obi- Wan thought, putting up a double shield.

The Robe Guard began his job the next day. He was supposed to make sure that no Jedi took more than two robes at a time and that no Jedi entered the room more than twice a week.

Most of the Jedi were more or less satisfied with this. They simply had to be a bit more careful with the robes, that was it. Four robes a week were quite enough for everyone- everyone but Anakin, that is.

The Robe Guard became Anakin's nemesis, the person that didn't let him sleep at night and occupied his thoughts by day. Even more, the Guard was the one and only person in the entire galaxy to make Anakin Skywalker, the hero with no fear, beg.

The way this happened was such:

Anakin was constantly trying to invent new ways to smuggle more robes out of the room. At first he had tried the most obvious ways, Jedi mind tricks and bribes to name only a few. However, the Jedi Council had chosen the Guard well. He was strong- willed, had very strong moral values and he seemed to hate Skywalker. That day he had been testing a very creative new idea; simply put the robes on top of the ones he already wore and walk out. It had damn near worked, too. The Guard didn't seem to suspect a thing. He had almost left the room when suddenly an alarm on the ceiling began to beep.

"Halt!" the Guard shouted, pointing his blaster at Anakin. This wasn't the first time this happened, so Anakin wasn't as shocked as he had been the first time the Guard had reacted this way. He raised his hands and stopped, thinking of what could have given him away.

"What was that alarm?" he asked the Guard.

"It's been put there for the likes of you. There's a code on every one of the robes. Every time more than two codes pass this door frame, the alarm begins to beep."

"Then what are you even needed for?" asked Anakin, surprised that the Council would go to such ends to prevent the Jedi from taking more robes than two.

"I watch that no Jedi comes in more than twice a week, and I see to it that if the Jedi somehow manage to take the code of the robes I will still be there to stop them."

So it is possible to take the code off! However, Anakin had a feeling that, somehow, the Guard would still stop him, code or no code. Right now he was in urgent need of more robes, and he just couldn't wait for next week to take some robes. The four weekly robes just weren't enough!

"Please," he said to the Guard. "You have no idea how much I need this."

The Guard smiled maliciously. "Oh, I'm sorry, Skywalker, but rules are rules."

Anakin couldn't give up that easily. He hated what he was about to do, but he had no other choice. He dropped to his knees. "I'm begging you, please, don't do this! I really need that robe! It's just one robe, just this once!"

"Alright" said the guard. Anakin was surprised to hear that. He got up. "So you'll give me that robe?"

"On one condition", said the Guard with an evil grin. 'Oh no', thought Anakin. "What is it?"

"You're going to beg me, again, on your knees. And this time I'm going to take a video of it."

(Skipping forwards, if you want to know what happened to the Robe Guard, he was taken off his post after about three weeks as a result of the amount of Jedi going robeless and consequently being sent to the Meditation Chamber, a small demonstration at the Temple and Anakin Skywalker personally threatening to leave the Order if the guard was not removed).

* * *

Anakin Skywalker had never begged anyone before. Ever. This was the first (and, hopefully, last) time that he had to conquer his pride and _beg_ someone for something, and it was going to be all over the holonet. He could refuse, of course, but that would mean another day in the Meditation Chamber as punishment for not wearing a robe. He had had _way_ too much of that lately. For Force's sake, he was not Master Yoda who could spend all his life in there! He was just a Padawan, and not a very good one at that- at least, not at meditating. What the Guard wanted him to do was very pride damaging, but then, Jedi weren't supposed to worry about their pride.

"I'll do it", he said grimly. The Guard's grin got even bigger. He took out his camera, used for security footage, and pointed it at Skywalker. "On your knees!'

Anakin did as he was told. He heard the _click_ of the Guard's camera as it turned on.

"Please, Guard, I'm begging you. You have no idea how much I need this robe."

Anakin continued in his style for a bit more, then stopped. The guard's camera switched off.

"Will you give me the robe now?"

"Nope."

"What?"

"You heard me. I'm not allowed to let any Jedi take more robes than two at a time, be it a youngling or Master Yoda himself."

"But I did what you asked!"

"It doesn't matter. Now, give me the robe you tried to smuggle out of here, before I call your Master."

Anakin had no choice but to obey. Master Obi-Wan would not be pleased if he heard of this.

"So you tried to smuggle it out under your regular robe, huh? Not bad."

Anakin just glared at him.

The next time he visited the Robe Room, Anakin was sure to take some time alone with the robes in the farther corners of the room. He found the code soon enough and deactivated it without much problem. Then, he put the robe on under his old one, like he had the previous time. However, the Guard decided to give Skywalker a pat-down before letting him leave the room. Even worse, he insisted on doing this every time Anakin came to take a robe.

(Some believe that the Guard had strengthened Anakin's feelings of hate and anger, thus causing his fall to the Dark Side in a few years time. This is most probably true.)

The person Anakin killed first during his attack of the Temple as Darth Vader was the one who used to be the Robe Guard, who then worked as a janitor. The moral of this is simple: don't get on the bad side of a Jedi. You never know when will he turn.


	5. Chapter 5

Robes chapter 5:

AN: _This chapter is something I wrote a long time ago and decided not to publish it because I felt it wasn't that good. Now I was going through my computer files and found it, and decided that if I fixed a few things it could be something I might publish. I made a lot of changes, so hopefully this will be will definitely be the last chapter I'm posting in this story, unless some sort of miracle happens and I get more good ideas._

* * *

What Was The Real Reason Behind Anakin's Dark And Unconventional Robes And How It Affected Obi-Wan Kenobi, His Master

During his time, Anakin was the only Jedi that wore dark and even black robes. The Masters and the Council thought it was unfitting. His master thought it was annoying. The younglings thought it was awesome.

Anakin himself thought that it did a really good job keeping Obi-Wan out of his robe stash. Besides, nobody ever took dark robes from the Robe Room, so that Anakin always had enough robes. The Council couldn't complain anymore about the fact that Anakin took too many robes- no one else needed them (not that it ever stopped the Council from complaining. Nothing could. Now they claimed that Anakin's robes were costing the Temple a lot of money- er, energy from the Force, of course).

For quite some time now, Anakin had been thinking about how to get his Master back for making him wear that pink robe in front of a class of Younglings. True, it didn't turn out to be as bad as he thought it would, but it's the intentions that matter. Anakin knew that it wasn't the Jedi way to want revenge, but this was just a game, right? Anyway, it wasn't like he was actually going to make Obi-Wan suffer. At least, not any more than he had suffered from the pink robe episode.

A plan began to form in his mind. Maybe something to do with black robes and Jedi fans. Yes, definitely Jedi fans. That would be very symbolic.

At the moment, Anakin and Obi-Wan were in a ship, flying towards their next mission. Anakin thought that this was the perfect time to act on his plan. He spent the next few minutes working out the details of his plan, then leaned back and smiled contently. This was going to be perfect.

After they had landed, Obi-Wan took a new robe from his stash and proceeded to brief his Padawan about the mission.

"Then, when you're finished with the west section, visit the south one just to make sure they've gotten the message. In four hours I'll meet you here at the ship. Is everything clear?"

"Yes, Master."

"Good. Let's go."

The leader of Ideb, the planet where Obi-Wan and Anakin were sent for their next mission, had asked the Jedi to help him take care of the rapidly growing criminal empire in the capital Jikal. The Council had decided to send Skywalker and Kenobi.

Anakin smiled to himself. Four hours were more than enough to complete his mission and start working on his plan.

In three hours, Anakin had already found the leaders of the criminals and used a mixture of threats, intimidation and mind tricks to persuade them that a criminal career was NOT what they wanted. That left plenty of time to find the Jedi fans…

* * *

"You see that ship?"

The Jedi fans nodded.

"Master Kenobi's robe stash is in there. Enter the ship, then go right to find Kenobi's quarters. Once you're inside, open the combination lock with the combination 1,2,3,4,5. The robes are inside.

The Jedi fans were very curious as to how this mysterious person in an oh-so-inconspicious outfit complete with sunglasses and black trench coat knew all this, but if they stayed here to question him they might lose their chance to take the famous Obi-Wan Kenobi's robe, so they decided not to take their chances. One by one, they disappeared in the ship. Only one remained- a young girl about fourteen years old. She looked at Anakin with a combination of shock and awe, then said in a hushed whisper:

"You're Anakin Skywalker, aren't you?"

"Maybe", he said. "But why won't you go after the rest and take Kenobi's robe?"

"I've never been a big fan of Kenobi, myself. But you… that's different. I've idolized you since I was a little girl."

Anakin wasn't quite sure how to reply. "Well, I'm flattered."

"I wanted to ask you: why are you telling us where Kenobi's robe stash is?"

"No particular reason".

"Come on."

"Well, I had this great idea for a practical joke, and it requires his robe stash being gone. I can't take it myself so I decided to stage you guys."

"Hey!"

"Well, you are taking his robes, aren't you? You get your robes, I get my prank. The way I see it, everyone's a winner."

"Everyone except for Kenobi, that is."

"It's fine. He'll laugh about it... eventually."

"Whatever you say."

An hour had passed, and Anakin was waiting for his master near the ship. The Jedi fans were gone, along with the robes. Obi-Wan showed up just on time, his robes burned and in tatters.

"Master, what took you so long?"

"You seem to be forgetting, my young Padawan, that I had to report on my progress to the leader of Ideb. He held me there until the last possible moment. I have to say, he was very pleased with our accomplishments."

"And what happened to your robe?"

"None of your business. The important thing is, we're done here. Let's go."

With that, Obi-Wan entered the ship. Anakin felt a smile creep onto his face. This was going to be fun!

His expectations proved to be true when he heard Obi-Wan's shout: "Oh, no! Not again!"

He rushed into the ship, feigning innocence. "What happened, Master?"

"It's the Jedi fans! They took my robes! And look, they left a note, just like last time!""

Anakin looked at the note Obi-Wan was sticking in his face. It read:

 _Master Kenobi! We are your most sincere fans in the whole galaxy. We are thrilled to see your ship and your robes. Thank you very much!_

 _Yours truly,_

 _-The Jedi fans_

 _P.S. Next time, please tell your apprentice Skywalker to leave his robes in the same place you do._

"My most sincere fans. Aren't fans supposed to try and make those they worship happy?"

"Not these ones", said Anakin, suppressing a chuckle. "You know how they are."

"I most definitely do. How did they manage to crack the lock, anyway? The code was great."

"Depends on your definition of 'great'."

"Anakin!"

"Sorry, Master."

"Anakin, as much as I hate to say it, I think I'll have to borrow one of your robes."

"Master! You know how easy it is for me to run out of robes!"

"Yes, but you see what's happening! They took my robes! Please, Anakin."

"Alright Master, but I can only spare two, so be careful with them."

"Oh, I will. Thank you. If only they weren't black…"

"Master!"

"Alright, alright."

'The plan is going smoothly', thought Anakin. 'I just hope it will stay that way…'

That night Anakin crept into Obi-Wan's room, a razor in his hand. He smiled. This was going to be fun.

The next morning…

"Anakin!"

"What, Master?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

Kenobi entered Anakin's room, a frown on his face. His entire face looked different. 'Yes', Anakin thought. 'I definitely like the way he looks without the beard.'

"Why did you shave my beard?"

"Why do you think it was me?"

"We are the only people on this ship."

"Oh, right."

"So, why?"

"I was bored."

"In the middle of the night?"

"I had insomnia. Besides, I like your new look."

Obi-Wan sighed, exasperated. "This will not go unpunished, Anakin. I will deal with you later. We will arrive at Coruscant in a few minutes. Are you ready?"

"Yes, Master. I think I'll stay with the ship- make a few improvements."

"Whatever."

After they landed, Obi-Wan saw that he still had about an hour until his report to the council was due, thanks to Anakin's piloting skills. He decided to use that time to go to Dex's for some coffee.

Obi-Wan walked slowly, enjoying the oh-so-rare moments that he got to be alone that weren't meditation (yes, even the perfect Jedi didn't like meditation. Don't tell Anakin).

Suddenly, two young women rushed up to him. "Anakin Skywalker?"

"Oh, it is you! Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to finally meet you!"

Before Obi-Wan could say anything, the other woman piped in:

"I can't believe I actually met Anakin Skywalker! Will you marry me?"

"Excuse me?" asked Obi-Wan, not quite sure what was going on.

"We are huge fans of yours, you see." explained the first woman.

"Yes. I have been in love with you, like, forever. I know that Jedi aren't supposed to marry, but you don't always stick to the rules, right?"

"Also, just so you know, we think that you are way more awesome than your master."

Obi-Wan didn't know whether to laugh or be offended.

"I am not Anakin Skywalker. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I am Anakin's master."

The women looked disappointed. "Oh well. Can you give him our phone numbers?"

"No. "

"Please please please?"

"He won't call you back anyway. He's far too busy."

"Come on…"

After Obi-Wan had gotten rid of the pesky women, he continued his stroll, thinking that for once he might have gotten some peace and quiet. He did not know what was waiting for him…

In the hour that he spent outside he was stopped by fifteen adoring women, ten young men who wanted autographs and six would-be brides, all of whom thought that Obi-Wan was Anakin. The dark robe combined with the lack of beard seemed to do the trick. Even worse, these people weren't standard Jedi fans. They admired Anakin Skywalker, not the Jedi. Obi-Wan had no idea why all these women were so attracted to his young padawan, but he thought he didn't really want to know. Needless to say, Obi-Wan did not manage to reach Dex's - not if he wanted to be on time for the reports to the Council. Those fans took up way too much time, some of them refusing to leave even after Obi-Wan explicitly said that he was Obi-Wan Kenobi, not Anakin Skywalker. Apparently, claiming to be Obi-Wan was Anakin's favorite tactic for getting rid of fans. Go figure.

Kenobi thought he began to understand why Anakin had shaved his beard. Only one thing didn't fit in- the whole thing wouldn't have worked if he hadn't taken Anakin's robe, and the only reason he did that was because of the fans.

An idea began to form in his head. Could it be?

He raced back to the ship, ignoring the startled fans that wanted to get Skywalker's autograph. He made it in record time- he didn't even know he could run that fast. Maybe the Sith are onto something, he mused. Anger certainly adds strength.

"Padawan!" he shouted. Anakin was already waiting for him, having sensed his approach through the Force a mile away.

"What is it, Master?"

"Did you tell those Jedi Fans how to break into my robe stash?"

Anakin knew it was pointless to feign innocence any longer.

"So?"

"Anakin! Why on earth would you do that?"

Suddenly, it hit him.

"You couldn't still be mad at me for the pink robe thing?"

"I wanted revenge!"

"Come on! That was, like, a month ago!"

"And yet you still hadn't apologized."

"Anakin, I would have if you had told me that that was what you wanted, but after what you did just now that is out of the question."

"I know, but anyway, this is way better than an apology. Like, way."

"That's it. You are spending the next month in the meditation chamber."

"Now _you_ are doing this for revenge on _me_? Isn't revenge not the Jedi way?"

"I won't even bother to point out the hypocrisy in what you just said."

"..."


End file.
